you know you have all these mixed feelings inside of you, and you've been bottling it all up and its just sitting there, inside of you, just waiting to burst out but you know it never will.
and when you feel like killing yourself, when you've thought about it millions of times, how you would do it - you'll lock yourself in your room, cut yourself and not feel a thing because the pain you feel inside is much more greater than the slight pain you feel by cutting yourself. and you'll maybe leave a note, saying how much you love the people around you, but they were never there for you and if they were, they never understood. and then you'll die, and you'll want the people around you to mourn, to feel the guilt of not saving you earlier. but as much as you thought about it, you are never brave enough to do it. have you ever wondered why? because us, humans, we have hope. we are all foolish creature who just cant stop hoping for the best, when all that is waiting are just the worst.
but maybe it is true, what people say; you do have hope, to become better. and you do have people around you who love you, and you will find someone who will listen to your problems and understand. you just have to hope.
T.