I just don't fucking know what or even how to feel anymore right now seriously. I am so tired of everything that surrounds me lately its making me go crazy. Everything is wrong. Nothing seem to be right at all nowadays. I really don't want to leave Malaysia but I just can't stand being here being in this state having this kind of hatred and being angry and tired all the fucking time I just cant. And when I say I want to leave, ya'll go hatin on me I mean what the fuck you don't understand ok you don't understand how hard it is for me right now how badly I want to leave this place. And being stupid as I am, I actually thought it'll be a good start living in another country but no things just decided to mess up last minute I mean why the hell is this agent so bloody clumsy cant yall do your work right for fuck's sake??!! Whats the point of us planning to be housemates and filling in some bloody forms when you're just gonn separate us? What kind of bullshit is this?! I really am so angry right now I mean I really want to be happy there I cant just live with people I don't know what if I grow not to like them or anything I just want my friends why can't people understand why can't people just freaking understand how important my friends are in my life why would people be so freaking judgmental? Its not that I don't love my family its just my friends went through stuffs with me during my hard times and they were always there and they make me happy and I am most comfortable with them so thats prolly why I love them more (?) I don't know at least thats how I feel right now I just....I really don't know things are just so messed up I don't even know what I'm writing this post ended up being the most ugly and stupid post I've ever posted before its just filled with me cursing.
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