"Hey," was the first thing I heard when I woke up, at 8:30am, Saturday, April 19th 1990. It was his voice that was so soft, delicate, safe, that made me smile. I opened my eyes, and there he was; pink lips, blue eyes and his messy brunette hair. I like his hair messy. I couldn't think of anything else than just kiss him at that moment. So I did. I sat down, and he quickly gave me a cup of coffee. His coffee sucked, big time, but what did I care about coffee? He was playing with my hair, and he put some of my hair at the back of my ear and whispered "What are we going to do today?" I was puzzled, because everyday, he would usually wake me up, give me a cup of coffee and kiss me good bye for he will be leaving to work. So I asked him with a smile, still slightly confused. "What do you mean? Don't you have work?" He turned his face down, and said "No work today, honey. Just you and me."
After I showered, I get dressed and combed my hair. It was a first world problem for me to either put my hair down or tie it up. He like my hair down, so I put it that way. I sprayed some perfume on me, and headed downstairs, to saw him smile, very widely. Wow, he really do like my hair and the perfume, was what I thought. Something just seemed wrong to him. I didn't want ask, 'cause that would ruin everything.
We got in to this diner we always loved -- which was the first time we met 10 years ago. I ordered pancakes and so did he.He looked like he wanted to tell me something, like he was worried. I couldn't stop myself from asking "What's wrong? Is everything OK?" and he said "I just love you so much. You know that right?" I hold his hand and kissed his fingers and nod my head while I gave him an honest smile. "and I love you,"
His wide eyes was focused on something behind me, and then everything changed. He looked panic, his pink lips turned white; his face was showed fear. The fear I've never seen on his face. He mouthed No, not now. and I looked behind me, with nothing to expect.
The men I saw behind me was strangers. They were big, and very tattoo-ey. I was really, really confused with what was happening. Who are these guys? Why is my husband so afraid of them? What could he possibly done wrong? I was about to ask them who they were when suddenly...... he was shot, by one of those big men, right to his heart.
His blood was everywhere, on my plate, on his plate, and on my hair that he loved so much. I sat there, in shock, and I realized that he was trying so hard to breathe. I hold his hair, his hand but I couldn't seem to touch it. There were blood everywhere. I touched his face, kissed his lips and his tears came running down his big, blue eyes. "I am so sorry. I love you, with all my heart."
It was 10:37am, Saturday, April 19th 1990 when he exhaled his last breath. I didn't know what happened, everything seemed so surreal. I hold him, in my arms and all I did was cry, and cry, and cry.
It is now 6:00pm, Tuesday, April 19th 2003 and I still don't know what happened to him, why those men killed him. How he knew that someone was coming for him. I went mad about a year after he died. I turned myself in to the psychiatric hospital because I was sure that I was literally going mad. Maybe I am. The questions in my head keeps on popping, and every time I think about it, I couldn't stop myself from screaming, from cutting myself and from crying my eye balls out. I am nothing without him; and I all I want now is to die.
"I am so sorry. I love you, with all my heart."
"I love you too Adam, I love you too."
Very very cheesy story. Sorry, I am just bored. Off to bed now. Good night!
Tykah